If you haven’t had a “Philadelphia Cheesesteak” then you’re doing it wrong! Actually, I’m doing it wrong. It’s not a Philadelphia Cheesesteak at all, it’s a Cheesesteak from Philadelphia. The subtle, but essential, difference is all about where you enjoy this tasty snack.
It’s offered on many a late night menu all over the Eastern seaboard and in numerous places world wide. But no where on earth can quite compete with the locals in Philadelphia and the reason is almost religious.
The pomp and ceremony surrounding the purchase and consumption of a cheese will astound you. I will attempt to guide you through some of this here, although for a fully canonical experience you will need to bag yourself a local and convince them to take you for a ’steak at an authentic Steakchurch.
Turning up at a random food outlet in Philadelphia and simply asking for a cheesesteak would be sacrilegious. You must first cross the threshold of a true Steakchuch (such as Sonny’s Famous Steaks) and begin the incantation “Wizz Wit”. Repeat it again “Wizz Wit”. Pronounce it exactly as it is written.
If the Gods are feeling kind and you proffer an appropriate cash donation you will be afforded a glimpse into the world of tasty drunken snacks from which you can never return. A sub filled with fresh steak, coated in creamy Cheez Wizz and topped with onions will be coming your way. You will be a convert instantly and will forever more be finding a way to return to the holy city of Philadelphia.
Porro Ago CaseusSteak.